The ABA Parent Page

As a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) who works closely with families every day, I know how hard you’re working. Parenting is beautiful and fulfilling—but it’s also exhausting. And when routines start to feel overwhelming, it’s easy to wonder, “What changed? How did we get here?”

With the arrival of spring, we’re gifted a natural opportunity for a fresh start. Just like we open our windows and let in fresh air, we can take a moment to reflect on the rhythms of our day and gently reset where needed. This month, I want to help you “spring into structure”—not with a strict schedule or unrealistic expectations, but with small, supportive changes that promote connection, calm, and cooperation.

Why Routines Matter (and Why They Sometimes Fall Apart)

From an ABA perspective, routines provide predictability, which helps children feel safe and in control. When they know what’s coming next, we reduce uncertainty—and in turn, we often reduce challenging behavior.

But here’s something I want every parent to hear: It’s completely normal for routines to break down over time. Illness, weather changes, daylight savings time, school breaks—they all take a toll. The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to notice when something isn’t working, and take small steps to get back on track.

3 Gentle Steps to Refresh Your Routine

1. Start with One Routine

Pick one part of your day that’s been feeling difficult—maybe it’s the morning hustle, the after-school slump, or bedtime struggles. We don’t need to fix everything at once. Just one small area of focus can lead to big change.

2. Add Structure Through Visuals and Clear Expectations

Visual schedules, timers, and checklists aren’t just tools—they’re supports. They give your child a roadmap for what’s coming and what’s expected. And they take pressure off you to give constant reminders.

Even a simple “first-then” statement can help:
“First brush teeth, then we read a story.”
“First put on shoes, then we go outside.”

These types of tools build independence and confidence—not just compliance.

3. Build Positive Momentum

This is one of my favorite ABA strategies: start with success. When we begin routines with simple, achievable steps, we create momentum. Your child feels capable, and that energy carries into the next step.

For example, instead of starting with “clean your room,” try:
“Hey buddy, give me a high five!”
“Can you point to your bed?”
“Awesome—now let’s pull up the blanket together.”

And remember—celebrate the small wins. Praise, a hug, or even a quick smile and “You did it!” go a long way.

A Real-Life Reset: One Family’s Morning Routine Makeover

One of the families I support was having a tough time with mornings. Their 6-year-old was slow to get going, often getting stuck in the same spots—brushing teeth or getting dressed. Together, we created a visual schedule with fun icons and built in small rewards (like earning a sticker or picking the breakfast cereal of the day).

After just a week, mornings felt lighter. Mom told me, “He’s so proud of himself now. We’re not arguing. We actually have time to talk and laugh.”

That’s the power of structure paired with encouragement.

Free Resource: Morning & Bedtime Visual Schedules

To support your spring routine refresh, I suggest creating visual schedules you can customize for your child:

• 🌞 Morning Routine
  
• 🌙 Bedtime Routine

These don’t need to be complicated. Simple pictures, or if your child reads, can just be text, and either checkboxes or move the picture to a “done” category.

A Final Thought From Your BCBA

You don’t need to wait for a major meltdown to reset. And you’re not expected to have it all figured out. As your BCBA—and as someone who genuinely cares about your family—I want to remind you: Progress begins with small, meaningful steps.

Let’s use this season of growth to plant new seeds in your routines. Together, we can help your child feel more successful, and help you feel more supported.

We’re in this together.

Take a deep breath… You’ve got this.