As a BCBA, I’ve had the privilege of sitting alongside many parents during IEP meetings — and I know how emotionally charged and overwhelming they can feel. You want what’s best for your child. You want to be heard. And sometimes, you’re faced with a room full of professionals using acronyms and educational terms that make it hard to speak up confidently.
Please know this: you are your child’s most important advocate. And you are not alone.
This guide is written with compassion, clarity, and encouragement — so you can feel prepared, supported, and empowered walking into your next IEP meeting.
💡 First, What Is an IEP Meeting?
An Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting brings together a team of professionals to collaborate on a personalized learning plan for your child. This typically includes teachers, therapists, school psychologists, and administrators — but the most important voice in that room is yours.
Your insights, your concerns, and your goals for your child shape the direction of that IEP.
🛠️ BCBA Tips: How to Advocate Without Feeling Overwhelmed
1. Understand Your Role and Your Rights
Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), you have legal rights as a parent to:
- Participate in all decisions
- Ask for evaluations
- Agree or disagree with proposed goals
- Request changes or additional supports
💡 From a BCBA’s perspective: You know your child in ways no one else does. Your lived experiences at home are just as valuable as the data collected at school.
2. Come Prepared with Your Observations and Concerns
Before the meeting, take time to reflect on:
- What’s going well at home or in private therapy
- What your child is struggling with
- What goals you’d love to see included
💬 For example, you might say:
“We’ve noticed our child is getting frustrated with transitions at home and school. Can we look at goals or supports that help with that?”
You can also bring any outside reports from private providers like your ABA therapist, speech therapist, or occupational therapist.
3. Get Clear on What Matters Most to You
When everything feels important, it can be hard to prioritize. So ask yourself:
- What really matters this year?
- What goals would make the biggest difference for my child?
✏️ Jot down your top 3 priorities for the meeting and keep them front and center.
4. Ask Questions — It’s Okay Not to Know Everything
If you feel unsure or confused, you have every right to pause and ask for clarification. Some great questions you might ask:
- What does that acronym mean?
- How will this goal be tracked or measured?
- How does this support look during the school day?
- Can we build in parent training or support for home routines?
💡 As a BCBA, I always remind parents: you’re not expected to be the expert in school services. You’re here to speak up for your child. That’s your superpower.
5. Consider Bringing Support
You are always allowed to bring someone with you — a spouse, family member, trusted friend, therapist, or advocate. They can help take notes, provide moral support, or help you process the information shared.
Having another set of ears (and a calming presence) can make a big difference.
6. Take Breaks if You Need To
IEP meetings can get emotional. If things start to feel overwhelming, it’s perfectly okay to say:
“Can we take a short break?”
Or:
“I’d like more time to review this. Can we continue this at a follow-up meeting?”
Your presence matters more than your perfection.
✅ Quick Advocacy Checklist for IEP Meetings
- Reviewed my parental rights
- Wrote down my child’s strengths and needs
- Listed top 3 priorities for this school year
- Brought documentation or reports from therapists
- Prepared questions to ask
- Invited a support person if helpful
- Asked for breaks or clarification as needed
💛 A Final Note from Your BCBA
From one professional who cares deeply to a parent who is doing their absolute best: you are enough. You are already advocating by being present. By showing up. By asking questions. By loving your child fiercely.
IEP meetings may be full of data, documents, and goals — but at the heart of it all is a child who is deeply loved. You bring that heart into the room.
And that makes all the difference.