The holiday season is full of magic, connection, and joy—but for many autistic children and their families, it can also bring overwhelm. Changes in routine, louder environments, unfamiliar people, travel days, and new expectations can all make this time of year more stressful. If you’re preparing your autistic child for holiday events this season, I want you to know you’re not alone—and there are simple, evidence-based ABA strategies that can make a huge difference.
Below, I’ll walk you through practical tools you can start using today to help your child feel safe, supported, and successful during holiday parties, gatherings, and travel.
1. Start with Priming: Preparing Your Child Before the Event
A. What Priming Is — Parent-Friendly Definition
Priming means showing or telling your child what to expect before something happens. It’s an ABA strategy that reduces anxiety and increases cooperation by making unfamiliar experiences predictable.
B. How to Prime for Holiday Parties and Family Gatherings
Try simple ABA priming examples such as:
- Showing your child pictures of the house or family members
- Walking through the schedule out loud (“We will arrive, say hi, put our coats down…”)
- Practicing greetings or simple routines beforehand (“Let’s practice waving hello.”)
C. Travel Priming Examples
Travel can be especially overwhelming. Helping your child preview the experience can ease so much stress:
- Watch videos of airports, airplanes, or road trips
- Show them their packed bag and talk about each item
- Visit the airport ahead of time (when possible)
D. Scripted Priming Routine (Example)
You can use this short, repeatable script the day before or morning of an event:
“Today we are going to grandma’s house. First we will drive in the car, then we will say hello, then you can play in the living room. If you need a break, you can show your break card. We will stay until after dinner, then come home.”
2. Use Social Stories to Build Predictability
A. Why Social Stories Help During Holidays
Social stories give your child:
- Clear expectations
- Visual, concrete information
- A sense of predictability
- A plan for what to do if they feel overwhelmed
B. What to Include in a Holiday Social Story
Short, simple pages work best. Include:
- Who they’ll see
- What will happen
- What they can do when they need space
- Expected behaviors (in positive language)
C. Example Social Story Lines
- “I will see family at the holiday party. I can wave or say hello.”
- “Sometimes parties are loud. If I need a break, I can go to my quiet spot.”
- “When I feel overwhelmed, I can show my break card.”
- “After dinner, I can play with my favorite toy.”
3. Pack Sensory and Regulation Tools for Travel and Events
A. Why Sensory Tools Matter During Holidays
Holiday environments often come with:
- More noise and movement
- Many new smells
- Extra transitions and waiting
These changes can quickly overwhelm an autistic nervous system.
B. What to Pack (Checklist)
Try creating a simple sensory kit that includes:
- Noise-canceling headphones
- Fidget toys or preferred sensory items
- Chewelry or oral motor tools
- Weighted lap pad or small weighted item
- Snacks and comfort foods
- A tablet or book for breaks
- A small “travel-friendly” sensory bag for the car or plane
C. How to Use Sensory Tools Proactively
Think before dysregulation happens:
- During transitions
- When entering a new environment
- When waiting (airport lines, car rides, gift opening)
4. Teach and Practice Break Cards (or Asking for a Pause)
A. Why Break Cards Work
Break cards offer a powerful, functional communication tool. They help your child express overwhelm before behavior escalates.
B. How to Teach Break Cards Before the Event
- Show the card and say, “This means you need a break.”
- Practice in calm, everyday routines
- Reinforce every time your child uses it—even imperfectly
C. Where to Use Break Cards During the Holidays
Break cards are great for:
- The dinner table
- Gift opening time
- When guests arrive
- Waiting during travel
D. Examples of Break Scripts
- “I need a break.”
- “Can I go to my quiet spot?”
For non-vocal children: - A simple PECS symbol or PODD page showing “Break”
5. Script Expectations Ahead of Time
A. Why Clear Expectations Reduce Stress
When your child knows exactly what will happen, their anxiety decreases—and cooperation increases.
B. What Expectations to Script
Short and visual is best. You can script:
- How to greet family (“You can wave or say hi.”)
- Turn-taking during gifts
- Sitting at the table (even just for 2–3 minutes)
- Travel expectations
- How long you’ll stay
- What your child can do if they need a break
C. Example Parent Scripts
- “When we get to grandma’s house, we will hang up our coats and say hello. You can wave or say hi.”
- “After we eat dinner, you can play on your tablet.”
D. Keep Expectations Short, Visual, and Positive
Use pictures, gestures, or 1–2 step reminders.
6. Build a Reinforcement Plan (Your Secret Weapon for Holiday Success)
A. Why Reinforcement Is Essential During Holidays
Higher demands mean your child needs more support to stay regulated and successful.
B. What Reinforcement Can Look Like
- Extra screen time
- A prize box item
- A preferred snack
- A special activity once the event is over
C. First-Then Strategy
Simple and effective:
“First we say hi to Aunt Lisa, then you can play with your toy.”
D. Reinforcement Plan Examples
- A 3-check mark visual → reward
- A small token board for longer gatherings
7. During the Event: Quick Real-Time ABA Tips
- Use predictable mini-routines: arrive → greet → coat away → check-in spot
- Offer proactive breaks (don’t wait for overwhelm)
- Keep demands low when you know your child is tired
- Use simple, calm language
- Reinforce even the smallest successes
8. What to Do If Things Don’t Go as Planned
No matter how prepared you are, things may still feel hard. That’s okay.
- Remember: behavior is communication
- It’s okay to leave early
- It’s okay to decline events that are too much
- Holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful
Your child isn’t giving you a hard time—they’re having a hard time.
Conclusion + Compassionate Call to Action
If you’re preparing your autistic child for holiday events this year, know that even small ABA strategies can make a meaningful difference. You’re doing incredibly hard, loving work—and your child is lucky to have you.
If you’d like personalized support preparing your child for holiday transitions, I would love to help. Together, we can make this season feel calmer, more connected, and more joyful for your entire family.
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