My child is always doing something they shouldn’t be. What should I do?
First things first… Remember that all behavior is a form of communication.
While these behaviors are not ideal, they’re a way for your child to communicate their wants and needs to you.
Remember the why (the functions)?
They’re back!
Those four functions are always playing a role, and they sure are now.
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Now let’s talk about behaviors!
What Are Negative Behaviors?
Let’s just get this out of the way. The behavior you’re referring to is just a behavior that is undesired. It’s something “bad” your child is doing.
When you think “Please don’t do that”, consider it a negative behavior.
Most of the time these behaviors are what you picture as temper tantrums and aggression to others.
However, it doesn’t always have to be those.
Sometimes the behaviors are more subtle, like running off with siblings during bathtime.
When you hear negative behaviors, think “interfering” rather than “bad”.
What Can I Do?
You’ll have to think on your feet at times, but some things you can do to address negative behaviors are:
- Give clear alternative directions
- Address the why – not just the behavior itself
- Use positive language
Refrain from yelling or simply saying, “Don’t do that.”
Telling a child what they can’t do can be more confusing because now they aren’t sure what they can do instead
Language to Use When Addressing Negative Behaviors
- Always give alternatives to the current behavior
- Ex.) If your child is standing on a chair state, “feet on the floor.”
- Simple language works best
- If they are crying to get your attention, provide them a better way to get your attention
- Show tapping your arm
- Verbally prompt saying your name/mom/dad
- Keep it positive!
- Bring with those alternatives but in an upbeat tone
- Don’t yell or cry
- Reinforce once they engage in something else!
Take Aways
Negative behaviors are necessarily as bad as you initially think. They can be mild and easy to address and redirect.
The key is how you respond.
Keep in mind those functions and determine the “why” this behavior is occurring.
When redirecting remember: keep it simple, provide alternatives, and stay positive!
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And remember, you’ve got this!