My daughter seems to have made a new friend at school and the mom talked about a playdate. I’m not sure how it’ll go and it worries me.
Uncertainty is hard. You know better than anyone that something can go wrong, and you’ll need to be ready.
What if they don’t get along?
What if she gets upset and tantrums in their home?
Maybe they won’t even play together, that wouldn’t be a great playdate.
But imagine if the playdate turns out great, and your daughter makes a new friend.
Every child is different, and that makes it wonderful to raise and watch them grow into themselves.
Playdates can be a wonderful way for children to develop social skills, build friendships, and explore the world around them. For kids with autism, however, playdates can present unique challenges and require careful planning and support.
Here are some tips to ensure that playdates are enjoyable and successful for everyone involved.
If you like what you read here, there are more informative posts on our page, there is more information about ABA, and how to use it in the home. Subscribe here to be in the know and be notified about new posts!
Understanding the Needs of Children with Autism
Recognizing Individual Differences
Each child with autism is unique, with their own strengths, challenges, and preferences. Understanding your child’s specific needs is the first step in planning a successful playdate.
Some children may have sensory sensitivities, communication difficulties, or a preference for structured activities.
It’s ok if these two don’t immediately start playing together. You’d be surprised how children will “play together” in their own unique ways.
For instance, I’ve seen two children play beside each other with two different sets of toys, and somehow they start to seek out sitting next to one another.
Communicating with Other Parents
Before arranging a playdate, have a conversation with the other child’s parents. Share relevant information about your child’s needs, preferences, and potential triggers.
This will help them understand how to support your child and ensure a smooth interaction between the children.
In turn, be sure to ask the same questions for their child. Everyone should be on board and ready to work together with their children.
Preparing for the Playdate
Choosing the Right Environment
Select a location that is comfortable and familiar for your child. This could be your home, a nearby park, or a quiet, child-friendly venue.
Avoid places with excessive noise or crowds, as these can be overwhelming for children with autism.
Planning Activities
Prepare a range of activities that cater to your child’s interests and strengths. Structured activities, such as crafts, puzzles, or building with blocks, can provide a sense of predictability and security.
Also, be sure to include activities that are of interest to the other parent’s child. You want options available.
It’s also helpful to include some free play time, allowing the children to explore and interact at their own pace.
Setting Expectations
Clearly outline the playdate schedule and expectations to your child in advance. This can reduce anxiety and help your child feel more prepared and confident.
Use visual schedules or social stories to help them understand what will happen during the playdate.
During the Playdate
Facilitating Social Interaction
Be present and actively involved in facilitating interactions between the children.
Model appropriate social behaviors, such as taking turns, sharing, and using polite language. Encourage positive interactions and gently guide the children if conflicts arise.
Try not to rush things. Children will signal they are comfortable and start interaction when they are ready.
While modeling interactions is a great way to demonstrate what to do, you shouldn’t push your child to interact.
Supporting Communication
Children with autism may have different communication styles. Some may use verbal language, while others may rely on non-verbal cues, gestures, or communication devices.
Be patient and attentive to your child’s communication methods, and help the other child understand and respond appropriately.
Be sure to encourage all aspects of communication, rather it be signs, visuals, sound approximations. All communication is important and should be honored for each child during the playdate.
Managing Sensory Sensitivities
Pay attention to your child’s sensory needs and preferences. If your child becomes overwhelmed, provide a quiet space where they can take a break.
Offer sensory-friendly activities, such as playing with tactile toys or engaging in deep pressure activities, to help them regulate their sensory input.
Remember, if your child is overwhelmed, it’s going to be really hard to have a fun and successful time during the playdate.
Encouraging Positive Interactions
Reinforcing Positive Behavior
Praise both children for positive behaviors and interactions. Providing reinforcement is essential to have continued positive interactions in the future. Remember that reinforcement increases the likelihood of that behavior happening in the future.
Reinforcement can be verbal (“Great job sharing your toys!”) or involve small rewards, such as stickers or extra playtime.
Positive reinforcement helps build self-esteem and encourages continued positive behavior. Reinforcing these interactions should foster more positive interactions for future playdates.
After the Playdate
Reflecting and Reviewing
After the playdate, take some time to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. Talk with your child about their feelings and experiences.
Ask questions like, “What did you enjoy most?” or “Was there anything that made you feel uncomfortable?” This feedback will help you plan future playdates more effectively.
Maintaining Connections
If the playdate was successful, consider arranging regular playdates with the same child. Consistent interactions can help your child build lasting friendships and improve their social skills over time.
Stay in touch with the other parents and share any updates or changes in your child’s needs or preferences.
Even if the playdate wasn’t a total success, keep in mind it was a new experience and you may want to try again. Connect with the other child’s parent to see about schedule to keep trying and working on those skills.
Additional Tips for Successful Playdates
Preparing for Flexibility
While planning is essential, it’s also important to be flexible and adapt to the children’s needs during the playdate.
If an activity isn’t working or if one of the children becomes upset, be ready to switch to a different activity or take a break.
Practicing Social Skills
Use everyday moments to practice social skills with your child.
Role-playing different social scenarios, practicing greetings, or discussing emotions can help your child feel more confident and prepared for social interactions during playdates.
Gaining everyday practice is great for the generalization of social skills that may be applied later in playdates with other children.
Staying Positive and Patient
Patience and positivity are key when supporting children with autism. Celebrate small successes and progress, and remember that developing social skills takes time and practice.
Stay positive and encourage your child, even if there are challenges along the way.
Conclusion
Playdates can be a valuable opportunity for children with autism to build social skills, make friends, and enjoy new experiences.
With careful planning, understanding, and support, you can create positive and rewarding playdate experiences for your child. Remember to be patient, flexible, and attentive to your child’s needs, and don’t hesitate to seek support from other parents, teachers, or professionals if needed.
With these tips in mind, you’re well on your way to helping your child thrive in social interactions and develop meaningful friendships.
If you liked what you read here, don’t forget to subscribe for more ABA in the home content! Subscribe here to be in the know and be notified about new posts!
Keep positive and take a deep breath. You’ve got this!