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Using “First, Then” Language: Motivate and Get Underway

Posted on June 5, 2023May 19, 2024 by Darian Shipman

I can’t seem to get my child to do any chores.

I know it can be frustrating when your child doesn’t seem to listen to you.

But think of it this way, what do you do when told to do something you don’t really want to do?

We do anything and everything we can to get out of doing that task. The same goes for your child. 

We can’t expect our children to simply do what we want if they aren’t motivated to do it. 

So what can we do?

You could try using a “first, then” statement when giving tasks for your child to complete.

A “first, then” statement can help to motivate children to complete task they may not be keen on doing at first.

While it can be tough, thinking of how to change a direction into a “first, then” statement can save you and your child time and frustration to get things done.

Here, we’re going to learn about the famous “first, then” statement, how to use it, and how to identify potential reinforcers to use in the when part of the statement.

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What is a “first, then” statement?

A “first, then” statement is a simple sentence that is used to increase motivation and compliance to engage and complete a less desired task.

This strategy and statement can be useful to motivate your child to complete less preferred task.

In actuality, I even use this type of statement for myself when I have tasks I don’t necessarily want to do.

With children, this strategy can by used tasks such as:

  • Cleaning up toys
  • Completing homework
  • Going to a new room/location
  • Sharing toys/turn taking
  • Getting chores done

Why use a “first, then” statement?

Using a “first, then” statement may help your child to complete a task that may not be too keen on doing. 

The use of a “first, then” statement can work to motivate your child with a more preferred activity with completion of something they may not like doing first. 

How to use a “first, then” strategy

You’ll need to identify what it is your child may want as a “reward” for doing to original task. 

Ensure you are saying it as a statement, not so much a choice to do the first task. 

Be sure that the reward (what is the “then” portion of the statement) is given only once the original task is done.

Remember reinforcement? It comes back into play.

Good ole’ reinforcement is back again! Using a reinforcer after the less preferred task has been completed can help to increase chances of your child complying with less preferred in the future.

Use the reinforcement once the first task is completed to increase the likelihood that your child will engage in the less preferred request if asked again.

Use simple and specific language

When you use this strategy of “first, then” statements, be sure you are using simple and specific language. This will serve to eliminate confusion. 

Ensure the specific language has a designated end to the first task. An example of this is, “first complete your math sheet.”

Use these statements as a way to remind your child what the reward is and how they can earn it. 

Take Aways

Using simple and specific “first, then” language can help to motivate your child to finish a less preferred task to gain a reinforcer. 

You’ll need to identify rewards that can be used to motivate your child to engage and complete those less preferred tasks. 

Keep it simple, but specific in your statements.

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